CONFRONT FEAR
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The problem with me is that I'm just too
scared to take chances and
risk everything
changing. I've had so many opportunities to change the way things go but I've never taken the chance. I never want to risk anything. But don't you have to risk something in order to get something else? To get something you gotta give a little, or whatever that saying is. I've had so many chances to change outcomes but I guess I was just too scared to put myself out there. Scared to pour the truth out, scared that people might see me for who I really am. That's always what happens. I tell myself I'm going to do this, but I end up doing that. That which takes me
further away from the
truth. I was never taught to be vulnerable to the outside world, just always 'stay strong, stay strong it'll pay off in the end'. But how is this gonna pay off in the end? I'll have necessities in my safe harbour. But what about the things that are so out of reach? Is it impossible to set out and try to touch those things that aren't near my grasp? What happened to the saying
'nothing is impossible'. If that applies to me, then why am I still questioning whether or not I should put myself out there? These two things don't seem relevant, but they are. If I put myself out of these four walls who knows the things I'll accomplish, right? Leading to nothing is impossible because I made myself vulnerable, now I can set out for my goals. But if I 'stay strong, stay strong and not let anything in' how am I supposed to experience anything?
'Life isn't about the breaths we take, it's about the moments that take our breath away'. How can I have breath taking moments if I don't leave my comfort zone, if I don't get hurt.
Everybody gets hurt
sometimes right? That's just life. The pain subsides and we
learn from our mistakes. See, I know all these sayings. I just don't apply them to my everyday life. Why?
Because I'm scared. I'm not
ready to put myself out there, I'm not ready to show you who I really am. Though you think you know me 'cause of how I might portray myself. You can't base your knowledge just on what you see, you have to look deeper into things, find facts, etc. But I guess life just catches your off guard. Ready or not. You just have to move along with the changes and be vulnerable.
I think I just rambled on about nonsense. Hahah procrastinator for the win! I was supposed to study for socials but I opted to do this. K now I will study. After I watch something. Goodbye hope you didn't waste your time reading gibberish.
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